


Unexpected Interrogator

by sinceresapphire



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2015-07-21
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:05:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinceresapphire/pseuds/sinceresapphire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When interrogation tactics aren’t working, Coulson decides to try something new.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unexpected Interrogator

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired in part by this post: http://fnurfnur.com/post/116127886424/law-enforcement-should-use-4-year-olds-to-do

It had been a normal day for S.H.I.E.L.D.; studying intel, planning necessary missions and doing the dreaded paperwork. However, down in Interrogations things weren’t going so smoothly much to the ire of one Phil Coulson.

They had been trying to crack a man who had been engaging in suspicious behavior, for several weeks without much luck.

Phil looked over at his partner, Agent Melinda May who met his gaze for a few moments before leaving the room.

While she was gone, he got the attention of the agent in the interrogation room.

“I think that it’s time to try something new. Head back to your desk and start on your report, Agent.”

Seeing the look on the senior agent’s face, the other agent just nodded his head and did as he was ordered.

Half an hour had passed and the goon was starting to squirm because he had been left alone.

“Hey! This is no way to treat a prisoner! Hey!”

The man slammed his hands down on the metal table.

Behind the viewing window, Coulson raised an eyebrow.

Ten minutes later, the door open and the movement caught the attention of the man at the table.

“About damn….ti…me….”

His eyes landed on a little girl who looked to be about four years old with brown hair and eyes.

The girl walked over to the chair on the other side of the table and climbed up so she could sit on the table and look him in the eyes.

“Who are you?”

“I, what?”

The man was dumbfounded that these agent people would let this girl in here with him, not that he did anything though.

“I said, ‘who are you?’”

The girl huffed as she crossed her arms.

“I’m John.”

“Why are you here?”

“S.H.I.E.L.D. or whatever thinks that I stole some weapons and sold them.”

 “Why?”

“I don’t know, man. Guess they can’t keep track of their own weapons.”

“Why?”

“Somebody screwed up somewhere.”

“Why?”

“They must have wanted to take a nap on the job or something.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know. Maybe they work too much.”

In the viewing room, Coulson was amused that the child seemed to be getting underneath the guy now known as John’s skin.

“Coulson, Fury wants an…up….date….”

He turned to look at the newcomer and recognized it was Maria Hill.

“Why is Skye in the interrogation with our prisoner?”

“Well, our people weren’t getting anywhere so we decided to change tactics.”

Hill just stared at him.

“Skye has only been in there for five minutes and appears to have gotten under his skin. Something, S.H.I.E.L.D. hasn’t managed to do in the weeks we’ve had him in custody.”

Letting out a sigh, Hill joined May by the viewing window to watch.

“Why?”

“If they’re not going to watch their things then someone could take them.”

“Why?”

“There’s no one to tell them not to.”

“Why?”

“Their parents didn’t teach them not to take what doesn’t belong to them.”

“Why? Why?”

“Their parents weren’t around to teach them because they had better things to do.”

“Why?”

“Because they didn’t….love….him.”

“Why?”

“They knew that he was trouble.”

“Why?”

“I did it! I stole the weapons!”

John turned to the window.

“Get her to stop and I’ll tell you everything; the location they’re being stored, who I sold them to and whatever else you want to know. Just get her to stop.”

The trio of agents smirked at each other before being interrupted.

“What the hell is going on here? Where’s my update, Hill?”

They turned as one to meet the gaze of Director Fury who had slammed the viewing room door open.

“Skye managed to crack the prisoner and get him to open up. We were about to separate them and get all of the pertinent details, Sir.”

Maria Hill was the picture perfect definition for cool as a cucumber expect for the twitching of her lips that showed her amusement about the events.

Fury sighed.

“Get the information and write up the report, Hill. Then submit both the report and the video of the interrogation when you’re done.”

Before he left his agents, he thought of one more thing.

“Coulson, give the kid a lollipop or something.”

The trio just stared after their boss for a few moments until a loud bang was heard from the other room.

John had gotten up from his chair and tried to move to the other side of the room to get away from Skye but she just followed  him instead so he hit the wall to get the agents’ attention.

“Well, I suppose we should finish this up. Maybe Skye has a future with S.H.I.E.L.D.”

Hill walked out of the room so she didn’t see the look shared by Coulson and May at her comment about their daughter.

About two weeks later, the family was walking through headquarters  after retrieving Skye from her latest babysitter when Melinda caught sight of something on the wall.

She couldn’t help smiling at what she saw.

“Phil,  Skye. Come over here and see this.”

Her husband and daughter joined her and immediately noticed what she had spotted.

There was a plaque on the wall for the ‘Employee of the Month’ and underneath it, was a picture of Skye.

Of course, this caused the little girl to smile brightly and clap her hands before having her mom take a picture of it.

Phil, on the other hand, kept staring at it.

“You know, this was Fury’s idea but you didn’t hear that from me.”

The small group turned to see it was Maria Hill who had spoken.

“Auntie Maria!”

Skye ran over to her and gave the woman a hug.

“Okay sweetheart, it’s time to go home.”

Bidding Maria goodbye and promising to pretend they didn’t know where the plaque came from, the family left headquarters.


End file.
